Anonymous asked: I see you post about being socially awkward or just awkward.. but you have so many friends and you seem very sociable. Please explain! I'd say I'm socially awkward because I fear what could happen in social situations.

My social anxiety is very situational.  There are just certain social situations that I feel extremely uncomfortable in.  Clubs, packed rooms, dancing, places where I don’t know anyone, situations where I am forced to be social, etc etc.

I’m best one-on-one or in small groups.  Once you throw lots of people in the mix and you have to compete for attention, that’s where my anxiety kicks in, that’s where I lose control of my emotions, and that’s when I realize what a weirdo I am.  I get silent, I hide in a corner, I have panic attacks.  I don’t connect well with most people, there are very few people who can understand the twisted workings of my mind and heart.  I am incapable of lying, I don’t bullshit, so if I’m not into a conversation, I can’t be bothered to pretend to give a fuck.  I am very in touch with my emotions, maybe too self aware sometimes…and I think that is what makes me feel lonely and disconnected to begin with..

  1. birds-with-broken-wings said: